Rain
by esprit hikari
Summary: Yami reflects on an incident that left him alone with his daughter in the pouring rain. Character Death, Puzzleshipping


So this little drabble was inspired by **spirithorse**'s cliche challenge. It was the one that no one voted for, yet it was the one that got written... Hope you enjoy it anyways!

This is dedicated to **Natoya **for her birthday!

I own nothing but what little plot there is

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Rain

The rain comes pouring down, soaking me to the bone

It's dark outside, late, nighttime

I feel the droplets running through my hair, weighing down my normal spikes

My shirt is drenched, clinging to my skin

My jacket is thrown over the bundle in my arms to keep it dry

This oh-so-precious bundle

The cause of my misery

My pain

My suffering

The house in front of my has only one light on in a lower window

It's been on for awhile

I can see the silhouette of a person, maybe two, waiting for me

I can't go inside

I've been standing here for an hour, maybe two

Maybe more

Time has lost all meaning to me

I sigh and glance down to the bundle in my arms

Lifting the jacket just enough to see but not get it wet

It's a girl

Oh how I detest those three simple words

You saying it when we first found out

Since you just knew, you said

All the times I had to say it to inquisitive friends, family, strangers

The day she was born

Exactly two weeks ago tonight

The same day I lost you

She has your hair you know

Well, our hair I guess

The black fuzz on her head is tipped with red

I know she'll have blond bangs

I hope she'll have your eyes

Those gorgeous amethyst eyes I fell in love with

The ones I'll never see again

Not as long as I'm alive at least

I cover her back up, careful not to wake her

I'm cradling her gently, my tears mingling with the rain still running down my face

Appropriate weather for my mood, I guess

The irony of it doesn't escape me

I look back up at the house looming before me

The people inside are waiting patiently, I'm sure

I'm so thankful for their patience

They have no idea what I'm going through, but they try to understand

So for that, I'm thankful

Gods, why did you have to leave us?

Leave me?

I rue the day you solved that cursed puzzle

You released ancient magics we had no idea about

Then you helped me, sent me home

You defeated me

Then you got me to stay

We didn't know how, but I was more than happy to live

Especially with you

As I thought, for the rest of our lives

I lifted my head up to face the sky

Needing to feel more of the rain on my face

Trying to feel less of the pain

The pain that came from remembering your life

Your death

The day we found out you were pregnant, you fainted

Our friend who had helped us before with her knowledge, helped us once again

She told us of ancient myths, stories, that told of male pregnancies

And she was the one who knew, who told us

It wasn't possible, you claimed

It wasn't probable, I refuted

Eventually, you became used to the idea

The next few months were interesting to say the least

You grew, a lot, and hated your new figure

I thought you were beautiful, carrying our child

I loved placing my hands over your stomach and feeling the little one

I loved talking to her

Listening to her

You couldn't go out very often

Your condition wasn't normal for males, and you didn't want the attention

Occasionally you risked it

You hated it, dressing like a girl to go out in public

Luckily you had the stature for it

You always hit me over the head when I said that

But it was true, and I loved you for it

The day of her birth arrived, and you were terrified

We couldn't go to a hospital, this wasn't a normal birth

Our same friend helped us once again

She was knowledgeable, sure, but she was no professional

She worked so hard to deliver our little girl with help of her brother

Our child came out strong and healthy

It's a girl, she said

But we already knew that

Something you jokingly called a mother's intuition

Turned out to be right

But you, she couldn't save

There was so much blood, that I remember clearly

I remember holding your hands

Grasping them between my own

Trying to hold back my own tears as I watched yours

You tried to stay strong throughout your death

I admire you greatly for it

You lived long enough to hold your daughter in your arms

She was passed over to me right before you passed away

I held her in one arm, holding your hand with the other

Not able to hold back the tears flowing down my face

I love you, were your final words

Words that I still cherish, standing here, my decision made

I slowly walk towards the front steps, knocking carefully n the front door

I see the silhouette in the window move, leaving another one behind

He opens the door slowly, looking at me

Seeing my resolve

He brushes a strand of stark white hair back and looks me in the eye

I see compassion in those soft brown orbs, but no pity

For that, I am grateful

I silently hold the bundle out to him, and he takes it just as silently

He peels off the wet jacket and looks at her

I see the adoration and love shining in his eyes

I see tears when he looks at me

He holds the jacket out to me with a simple gesture

I don't take it

I turn away from him and walk back up the pathway

Back into the rain

Another white-haired form joins him in the doorway as I look back at the house

They understand why I'm doing this

She's in good hands

She'll grow up in a loving family

One that I would never be able to give her

Minutes, hours, pass by as I wander slowly through the rain

My feet lead me home

Almost unwillingly

I spin slowly in front of my house, feeling the rain for the last time

I open the door quietly, leaving it unlocked

I go up the stairs in the dark, not wanting to turn on any lights

Our bedroom is right at the top of the stairs, the nursery the next door down

In the bathroom, I pull out a small bottle

I remove the lid and swallow half of its contents

Then I go and lay down on your side of the bed

It still smells like you, and that comforts me

They know what I'm going to do, and they know when to get me

They know not to stop me

As I start to get drowsy, I clutch your pillow to my face, inhaling the scent

I know you wouldn't have wanted me to do this

I don't care

I want to be with you

I love you

* * *

*sniffles* Hope you liked it! Much thanks to the BPS forum for being amazing, inspiring people, and to Spirit for being awesome.

Happy Birthday Toya!


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